Are we born with self-confidence? Don’t we wish! If you are fortunate, you develop encouragement early from your family and teachers. Or like most of us you learn through the school of hard knocks.
Every day is challenging. You may find that you start off feeling positive, but during the day there are stumbling blocks. What do you do?
Remember that problems have a way of turning into solutions when you are able to meet them with confidence and poise. Emerson wrote, “Great hearts send forth secret forces that incessantly draw great events.”
Self-Confidence Builders
Associate with self-confident people
When you “hang out” with self-confident people, you will naturally begin to absorb their air of self-assurance. Find mentors within your company or become a member of a business organization that is relevant to your career. Give back to the community. Your self-esteem will increase by knowing you are making a difference in the world.
Take a close look at those you are around the most. Are they confident or do they lack self-esteem? Studies show you become a combination of the traits of the five people closest to you.
Read biographies
Several clients have told me that by reading biographies of confident people, they have developed more self confidence.
Pay attention to your look
Research proves the importance of dress, grooming, posture, movement, eye contact and facial expression to projecting self-confidence and credibility.
Dress appropriately for the situation you are facing. Don’t wear club attire in a financial environment, or a suit in a resort when the memo you received clearly stated “business casual.” Avoid overdressing because this says, “I am more important than you.” Under-dressing says, “I don’t respect you. I’ll dress any way that I please.” Equal dressing says, “We’re peers.”
Grooming counts. You want to be well groomed: hair styled nicely, not haywire, clothing pressed not wrinkled, shoes shined not scuffed, nails natural not studded, bathed not perfumed. Your personal grooming habits speak volumes to those around you.
Posture is everything. Stand tall and be proud with your weight balanced equally over both feet, and your head level.
Walk with purpose. Avoid nervous pacing, wandering and foot shuffling. Keep your head up and a smile on your face.
Maintain eye contact. It is not just making eye contact that creates confidence however, it is holding eye contact. In the western world, and especially the United States, holding eye contact for three to five seconds per person is considered optimal. People who avoid eye contact may be considered shy, evasive, distracted, or bored. People who hold eye contact too long make others uncomfortable as well. Find the happy medium.
Facial expression sets the tone. Smiling is a universal welcome and connects you to people. A slight smile sends a clear message about your confident state of mind. Not smiling creates an opening for many interpretations, including grumpiness, aloofness, and anger.
Fake it ’til you make it
When you’re working on building your self-confidence, the best thing you can do is to “act as if.”
Self-confidence is not something you’re born with—anyone can learn these skills and habits. Begin putting some of these into practice and your self-confidence will follow.
What has helped you to develop your self-confidence? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.
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