Strong leadership requires the courage to be truthful, and to be authentic. These traits rise to the surface when a leader is faced a challenging often spontaneous question, usually in a public forum. I suggest that first you take a moment to become centered and focused. Then, repeat and/or reframe the question to be sure you are hearing what the questioner is truly asking, and for everyone present to hear the question in slightly different language which helps to sharpen an understanding of what is said.
Then, you have to answer the question! When you do, you want to be both truthful and authentic. Are these the same? I don’t think so. However, they certainly are first cousins. Let me explain.
Here are my definitions. Truthfulness is being honest. It means providing information that is accurate, being direct and even reliable. Authenticity incorporates being truthful but connotes the ability to be genuine. It is the personal component of communication that reveals the “heart” of the speaker. Authenticity is that trait that we intuitively know is there, but can’t quite define. We know it when we see it.
So, how do we put this together as a strong woman leader? Let’s take the situation when a woman in leadership is asked a challenging question.
Give a truthful answer
If someone asks a difficult question or for your opinion about a touchy subject, give it. Do not twist or reshape your answer to fit compatibly with what you think the questioner believes. Do not pander. Even in the middle of a disagreement, the questioner will come to respect and trust you for your truthfulness.
However, there is a caveat here, or certainly an idea to ponder. Voltaire said, “Everything said should be truthful, but not everything truthful should be said.”
Hmmm…
I have thought about this in my own life (both business and personal). Where does one draw the line between telling the truth and telling the whole truth? It is clear to me that we should never tell an untruth, but sometimes leadership requires a certain level of discernment. Some truths can harm people unnecessarily who may or may not be at the center of the topic being discussed. Being truthful should not leave collateral damage.
When I coach executives, I encourage them to speak their own words and step to the plate when they should. Pre-packaged slogans only serve to fuel discontent. Look at the current media barrage of politicians “accepting responsibility” for whatever indiscretion they have recently been caught in; they sound plastic and inauthentic. We wonder if they would have “accepted responsibility” if they had not been caught. Our response is intuitive. We don’t quite trust them. What they are saying is true, but it does not feel authentic.
Where authenticity and truth meet
Most of us will never be confronted with the dramatic situations that make their way to the evening news. However, I believe that such extremes provide insights for those of us who live in the middle of defining our leadership positions. These situations help to sharpen the edges of how we make our own choices.
First, if there has been a misunderstanding, confusion or mistake, say there was. I believe in telling the truth by acknowledging a misdeed, a situation that has corrupted the internal dynamics of a company or created other incidents.
Here is where we might reflect on what Voltaire meant. As a leader who is accountable to many people, saying too much can prove to come back to haunt you even when what you say is the truth. Truth, to be fully understood, requires context. Context makes the truth understandable; without context even truth can be misunderstood.
When answering an impromptu, challenging question, more information than asked for can create confusion and complexity. In such a situation, there is neither the time nor the appropriateness to provide context. In addition, “the rest of the story” might not be of any interest to the questioner. Don’t assume that it is. (This is one of the reasons I suggested in a previous blog to reframe the question to get clarity on what information the questioner is actually asking.)
Second, move to action. Tell the person how this mistake will be handled, what corrections in company policy will be made, or what investigations are underway. Action will tell those around you that you care enough to right the course. If there are individuals who have been wronged, acknowledge that and extend the appropriate apologies. However, in most cases, such situations are personal even in a business environment. I personally believe that dealing with individuals should be private and one-on-one. Depending on the situation, it might even be stated as such if a questioner presses you for more information.
Third, remain calm, don’t speak too rapidly, and keep your voice in your deeper register. Challenging questions are frequently an opening to exhibit strong leadership through your verbal presence. This experience can heighten your awareness about your own ability to deal with conflict. Remaining calm can provide the time to assess whether storm clouds are forming or whether it is just a light spring rain. How you verbally conduct and direct the questions will shape the conversation.
Your leadership will be evident by your ability to tell the truth, be prudent about how much you say, and by the authenticity of how you say it.
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